H E R.
BUT WHATEVER YOU DO... Don’t leave me alone with her.
She’s SO desperate for attention. What - did the earth not rejoice at her arrival? Did the sun not kiss her and call her blessed?
She thinks she is the poster girl for perfection. Can someone tell her that she isn't Jesus Jr.?! Trust, she wants you to think she’s the cream of the crop. That she’s all that and a bag of chips.
But here, take this magnifying glass, let’s look together. Her cross contaminated crops bear no fruit. And that bag of chips? Check the expiration date - she's expired goods on display. She makes me sick!
Please, where are you going?! Don’t leave me alone with her.
Are you still looking?! She is a walking check valve, a one-way current for toxic men. My God, how they flow into her. After they’re long gone, their dirty handprints remain cemented on her soul. Tied to her as she gets heavier and heavier with every new toxicant anchoring her down.
But she wouldn’t ever let you see that. She goes out and flaunts what her momma gave her! She has secured the bag! So she stunts on you hoes – in the most professional way, of course.
The access you think you have to her life has been strategically and meticulously granted. Each of you having a different level clearance. Even she has thrown away the all access pass. "... cause some shit ain’t worth remembering.”
Please don’t leave me alone with her.
I’ve tried playing dress up with her. I want to wave my wand and sprinkle my fairy dust and poof! – a real princess. Maybe then she’ll really embody that #BlackGirlMagic she so religiously posts about.
But she’s acting like homegirl who left her Red Bottoms on the steps and all her helpless friends. Waiting for Prince Charming to ride in in his white Mustang and save her.
On some Let It Go shit. Forget him! Become the black girl whose magic sparks from her own fire. Become the black girl who has leveled up mentally and emotionally. Dammit girl, just be Magic.
I know they say you can only lead a horse to water, but shit, I’m trying to make her drink! If I attach some strings to her limbs and marionette her life, maybe then she’ll finally stand tall on her own and become #BlackGirlMagic.
Maybe then she'll become more Tin Man less Scarecrow.
Maybe then she will become less incompetent.
Sweetie, you’re not fooling anyone. You’re broken. You’re insecure. You’re empty. When are you going to know your worth?
Wait, come back. Please don't leave me alone with her.
If you leave me alone with her she will catch up to me because she is me.
I will have to take ownership of her. I hate her. I hate me.
Please don't leave me alone with me. The demons of me are catching up and can no longer be buried.
And this time around they didn't come to play nicely.
Please. Save me from me.
Often times we ignore the internal cry for help. We ignore the cry that our mental state is crumbling. This cry is often manifested in the external ways you treat yourselves and allow others to treat you. This cry is then masked with behaviors that allow us to appear "normal." When this cry goes uncheck, you are doing a disservice to yourself. Not healing mentally will cause you to jeopardize who and what was sent to help you elevate to the next level.
As you answer these questions below keep this in mind...
We often engage in behaviors that brings us momentarily happiness. Ex.
"I am sad, so I will eat some ice-cream to make me feel better. I know, I will regret it in the morning...oh well. We will cross that bridge when we get there."
This momentarily happiness can be a second, a week or a month. Are you wondering if there a difference between happiness and joy? Yes, yes there is. Happiness is created base on external factors that brings immediate/momentarily euphoric feelings. Where as joy is an internal peace that's dependent on no one. Joy is a thing that is "cultivated from the inside out."
Here are some things to reflect on/ask yourself?
1. Do I experience regular joy?
2. The behavior that I engage in and the people I interact with is it bringing me joy?
3. What steps should I take to achieve this joy?
4. Do I currently have the discipline to release everything and everyone that does not bring me joy?
Lets Talk. (Comment your answers below) .
What toxic behavior have you allowed to penetrate your soul and steal your joy?